2014 is the year I became a mother for the first time. This experience gave me both heart palpitations and a minor stoke. To be quite honest, this was not planned. Considering I was the girl who had a magical plan in my head as how I was going to bring kids into this world. The plan was, first I would marry either Joseph Gordon Levitt or Dwayne Johnson and we live happily in a million dollar Miami Mansion. Then at 30, just like Beyonce, I would plan to have my first child. He or she would be born into my financially wealthy lifestyle, with a 10 bedroom house, have the ability to travel the world and I would not get one stretch mark. Did I say plan? I meant unrealistic fantasy.
As fate would have it (or a lapse in sensible decision making) I fell pregnant at 23. I remember feeling ill for a week, then two weeks, then three weeks. I figured since I was early winter that I had caught some kind of super bug that wasn’t going away, I laugh at this now. Out of pure curiosity I took an at home pregnancy test. Low and behold …. negative. Weight off my shoulders and off to the liquor store I went (I’m joking, I sent Brandon instead). Still feeling miserable and suspiciously nauseous I take a second test a couple weeks later. Then again only one pretty line appeared, negative.
It just so happened to be by chance that pregnancy test had a ‘buy two get one free’ deal on at the pharmacy. I guess this is for the dumb asses like me that take the first two test too early. So I decide you use the third one about a week later, you know just for fun.
HOLY SHIT BALLS.
The WHAT THE F*#K is that second line doing there!? This test is broken! Where’s the complaints phone number? They sold me a dodgy test, someones already pee’d on this one! After this came a few tears followed by buckets of them. I was floored. This was not my plan. However, as much of a cold punch this was to the system, I couldn’t help but have a little smile creep in.
After the dust had settled and the nerves had worn off I told my partner Brandon. Then we went back to square one and cried all over again. We had it confirmed by the doctor who kindly said “congratulations” as I sobbed uncontrollably in her office. Then she strategically slipped me a variety of pamphlets. One so epicly titled “Teen pregnancy. What should I do?” Thanks bitch but I was 23 and hardly a teen. We drove around for about an hour, kind of in a blank daze. Not really knowing what to say to one another.
About a week past and at that stage I can honestly say we did consider having a termination. Not out of selfishness or unwillingness to have kids, but out of pure fear of “we don’t know what the hell we’re doing!” We couldn’t grasp the concept of us being parents when most times we forget to feed the cat. We didn’t think it was in our capabilities to take care of and raise a child. The turning point was when we discussed this. Neither one of us could come up with a genuine reason besides fear to go through with a termination. So, we can’t just drop everything and go out clubbing. So what! We can’t selfishly spend our money on ourselves anymore? Who cares! All these little details just did not matter and still don’t matter.
We made the best decision we ever have and I doubt there will be another to top it. Having a kid in 2014 was not the plan, but to be honest I’ve never stuck to plans anyway. I’m the type of person who consistently writes a grocery list of veggies, meat and health foods. Then forget the list at home and come home with chocolate ice cream to go with my chocolate sauce and chocolate sprinkles.
Moral of the story? For me, it’s that things happen. Screw your plan. You can either fall in defeat or rise to challenge. Guess what? It was nowhere near as horrifically terrifying as people make it out to be.
To contradict many theories about having children. No, your life is not over. No, you will not be broke. No, you do not have to be anti-social and lose all your friend (although the ones you do lose won’t matter).
Yes, you can still achieve your life goals. Yes, your can still travel the world. Yes, you can still have friends. Yes, you can still go out for dinners, attend parties, go shopping, head to the movies. Although these thing may take a little bit of extra effort they are still possible. More than anything though, Yes, It means life will change for all the right reasons.
Life’s journey is about striving for your idea of success and happiness. I’m just lucky now have a permanent little buddy by my side the whole way..
“What it’s like to be a parent: It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love.”
― Nicholas Sparks